Where do I belong? part 3

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Because I was adopted the court made me a ward of the State and appointed my Mother as guardian. I had to do the hated access visits where my Dad never seemed to know what to do with me, and my Mother grilled me about every aspect of the visit when I got home. I very quickly learned to keep quiet or to lie about the visit. My cousins and the other kids at school made my life pretty miserable too, no doubt they were fascinated. I can’t recall any other child who had separated parents. One or two had widowed Mothers (it was after all just post war), but I was the only one with separated parents and a working Mother.

When I was enjoying my second year at high school where we had Friday tests I would always be competing with Robert and Ralph in mental arithmetic and word association/spelling until a teacher told me that it was unseemly for a girl to be so competitive with the boys. So trying desperately to ‘fit in’ with the other girls I dumbed down.

It became obvious to me that I would need to earn my own living so after doing 2 years in the professional stream at Midland High – I transferred to commercial to do shorthand, typing and bookkeeping. At the same time my Mother and I were moving from house to house – my Mother being a house-sitter while people were overseas. Mother was also working as the Practice Nurse in Midland. This somewhat nomadic lifestyle was not conducive to forming or maintaining friends. So once again, I was unable to find, or maintain, a ‘group’.

 

Because I was adopted the court made me a ward of the State and appointed my Mother as guardian.