Special days missed

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Everyone expects to be at their childs wedding, I was there but hiding in the back seat of the church so no one would see me. I guess I'm supposed to be grateful I found out she was getting married. No hug and congratulations from me I'm just the incubator never to be thought of except when I turn up hoping to have contact with my adult child. I try to have sympathy for their fear of me taking her afections, but it just doesn't seem logical to me.

I found out when she was having a baby and dropped flowers off at 7.30am so her family wouldn't see me. I hate all the skulking around but we have no contact and I refuse to let everything pass me by. She now has two girls who are now teenagers and no doubt don't know their mother is adopted and therefor don't know I exist. How long can all this denial go on, will I ever get to share any of the child's life who I never wanted to give up in the first place.


The hurt doesn't stop after the relinquishing of your child, as so many daily events remind you of what you've lost.