For those of us who were constantly reminded that we had committed a mortal sin this surely had an impact and one has to ask the question did this constant affirmation change my moral identity. I believe the immediate years following the birth of my daughter placed me in this moral dilemma. A friend once told me that being my friend was very daring and exciting, as I could go from being the Virgin Mother to Mary Magdalene in the blink of an eye. In hindsight she now understands my behaviour in those turbulent years and our friendship remains strong and precious to this day. Following the birth I went back to my parental Catholic home after being told by a nun ‘go home and forget this part of your life and sin no more’!! There followed many years of self-flagellation which I believe correlates with the religion I was baptized into.
Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed, take the core of those wounds that are holding you in your past, your memories and make peace with them. Only then, hopefully, will the bleeding stop.