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I'm not a birthmother nor am I an incubator.

The word 'birthmother' is offensive to mothers who were forced to relinquish their babies. This terminology was invented by the adoption industry and was originally coined by them to discriminate against mothers and to disentitle and dehumanise us. We were seen as worthless, less than human and disposable.

We were insignificant.

The term 'birthmother' paved the way for adoptive mothers to feel more comfortable about taking another woman's baby, so she could pretend it was hers and become the 'real mother'.

Even today the people who work within the various government departments, the psychologists, and the social workers in post adoption services, who are supposed to be helping us, never refer to us as 'real mothers' for fear of offending the adoptive parents.

The term 'birthmother' takes us back to the labour wards where they only cared about us from the waist down. They didn't care about our hearts, bodies or souls.

Some people have even crudely and unkindly referred to us as incubators.

I feel the term 'birthmother' is even more insidious. It's stops people from searching because of discrimination or fear. It's derogatory and prejudicial.


The word 'birthmother' doesn't exist in the Macquarie dictionary.