I became the poster baby for the Adoption era in the 1960s.
The next thing they heard was the screeching of a buses brakes and alot of commotion. They discovered that their roommate had killed herself under that bus. That story still haunts my birth mother and I feel is symbolic of the pain that was suffered at that time.Continue reading
I don’t know who I am – I am a secret.
Unless you have experienced it, you cannot understand what it is like to not know who you are and be someone else’s secret.Continue reading
I had just turned seventeen when I fell pregnant
I have a relationship with the wonderful woman my daughter grew to be, but we both grieve the loss of childhood.Continue reading
I had my eyes closed because I knew I wasn't allowed to see him.
Nobody talked to me about my baby. I have met my son but the pain never goes away.Continue reading
I left home at 16 - Part 1
Then the Social Worker came with the adoption papers, but I wanted to see my baby first: "We don't recommend that" Perhaps that was compassion?! I signed, with no feeling of reality in my hand holding the pen.Continue reading
I lost my son forever
My son's adoption was called 'special needs' because he was 18 months old when he was adopted. And now I have lost him forever because of an accidental heroin overdose.Continue reading
I needed a hug but instead was given ECT.
My experience of adoption has cast a long shadow over my life.I can't imagine ever feeling at peace with myself for the pain I inadvertantly gave my son. I cannot imagine a circumstance where adoption with its inherent heartache can ever be considered a humane option for the child or birth parent.Continue reading
I didn't think I had been forced to give up my child...
I didn't think I had been forced to give up my child, until I many years laterContinue reading
I first met my mother in 1998.
"Disasters!" - I took it as a euphemism for her having to leave me at birth. She never ever had any other children.Continue reading
I had my baby 27 days after my 17th birthday
I had my baby 27 days after my 17th birthday in 1974, my boyfriend didn’t see a baby in his plans.Continue reading
I held my son for a brief time after he was born
I live in hope.Continue reading
I left home at 16 - Part 2
The photo above is me with my mum in 1968, just months after my daughter's birth.Continue reading
I lost my son to adoption in 1962 and we didn't reconnect until he was 45
He is now enjoying getting to know his other families, and acknowledges me as his "first mother". What more could I wish for? To be able to release the deep pain of all the lost years would help but I try to live in the moment and appreciate what I have.Continue reading
I never fitted in and they let me believe it was something defective in me.
Rather than there being something wrong with me, I just didnt make sense with them because their family was not where I came from.Continue reading