Heart rending loss

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I was so young. 15 years and 9 months. My Mother told me that she had an appointment for me at the specialists, she did not think all was well with me. This was a way for her to confront me with the knowledge of my pregnancy. Although, I was aware of the changes to my body, I was in denial and hoped that whatever it was, would go away!

The Doctor happily announced that I was pregnant. It was totally mind boggling I was terrified!

I stayed at home with my parents and siblings. I was not allowed to see anyone or go anywhere I felt very alienated.

I started to think about my baby what she would look and be like. I started to feel a great bond with her.

One night some weeks before she was born my Mother answered a question of mine by saying, ‘don't worry about that, it will be adopted!!’ I yelled at her and said no! That will never happen, she is my baby and I will look after her. Nothing more was said!

I was taken to the Elim Maternity Home for unwed girls two days before my 16th birthday. After being put to scrubbing steps and floors all the next day I went into labour that night and my daughter was born in June 1963. She was beautiful, I could never imagine life without her. I had her with me for 7 days until my parents came in and told the staff, that they did not want the baby, it was to be adopted out. I protested so much but they still moved me to the ward for mothers who were adopting their babies. For the next week I was bullied, lied to and totally demoralized. I lost her two weeks after her birth. I was and still am, heartbroken.

 

I was so young. 15 years and 9 months.