Giving up My Child

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Yvonne  

Victoria, Royal Women's Hospital, Melbourne

My pregnancy was kept a secret by only me for 8 months when I finally had to tell my mother who I lived with, My mother took me to The Royal Women"s Hopital Melbourne, April 1966.

We met with Social Workers who desrcibed me as 'Stupid'. My mother said I was raped to save face. In fact it was a one night stand. That was the one and only time my mother attended with me. I went into labor and was sent into hospital in a taxi ALONE. It was a forceps delivery. Long and scary. My baby born on May 2nd 1966 and was taken away and I went to The Verandah of the hospital for the naughty girls.

I saw my son only once after I signed the adoption papers. There was no way I could have kep him. Only my mother knew and I had no one else. I went home in a Taxi all alone and it was never ever spoken about again. I returned to Teacher's College having had a total of 6 weeks. off. Consequently I failed that year however I did finally graduate as Primary teacher. Still no one knew. I got on with my life, got married, had 2 more children and worked as a teacher. In 1995 I wrote to DHHS saying I would be willing to have contact if that was my sons wishes. Heavily influenced by his adoptive father (which I now know) contact was denied. Life went on. Every 2nd May for 48 years I silently wished him a "Happy Birthday". Retiring from teaching and the years marching on I again decided early 2014 to make myself available for contact. In late Mid June 2014 contact was agreed to some 48 years later. WOW, what a life changing event. We met on 5th July 2014 and that day changed my life forever.

My son is married and has 2 children. We my husband and I finally met the kids a couple of weeks later. My son is beautiful human being which I had very little to do with. We are in contact regulary but the journey for me has been a roller coaster of emotions and for him to a certain degree. This after nearly a year of of reconnection is very slowly becoming emotionally better. Unfortuantely my 2 grown up daughters have issues and have not met him and his family. This has not stopped me as I will never give him up ever. So I juggle the family sitiation as best I can. My son and his family especailly his kids are slowly building up a bond which is very heart warming for me. My husband continues to support me in this journey. I love my son very much and it is something I never ever contemplated. We are developing a real connection and as my son says "We are solid for ever."

 

My experience of adoption was mind numbing and it was not until my son and I were reunited did I realize I had been grieving for 48 years. I was treated with disdain not only from my own mother but with all the people I came into contact with, the medical and allied health personnal. Shame on you all!