FORCED

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I’d like to talk about the word “FORCED”.
When I first heard it used, my immediate reaction was that the planned apology would not be for me. I wasn’t forced.
At Jigsaw I heard comments from other mothers saying “I knew what was happening and I didn’t fight to keep my baby, so I wasn’t forced”
Over time, with talking to mothers and examining my story I came to realise that there is no better word to explain the process so many of us went through.
My upbringing left me believing that to be pregnant and unmarried, excluded and excommunicated me from society and from my family and the only people who I could turn to were health workers and the workers at the home who accepted me and gave me a place to belong.
The rules were that they took the baby and as there was no other alternative for me that was what happened.
I didn’t have my baby dragged from my arms but no-one told me of any other options.
There was no support; emotional, financial or even material. I was fed into the system.
When I left the home I left my child behind. I have grieved in absolute silence for the loss of my child and I will always carry the burden of shame.
That experience set me up for some sad and difficult times.
"FORCED" is the best word we have.

 

Accepting that I am a victim of FORCED ADOPTIONS.