DIVIDED BY TWO AT NUDGEE

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A place called Nudgee’s where I belong
It was our home for so long
Being there all my childhood life
With a twin I identically shared

As innocent beings as we were
Obedience, trust, to love and care
Was our biggest thing we shared
A.M.D.G. – all my work done for God
Is all we ever learned
To do the right thing and
Trust in Him
And take all that we could bear

Head down, eyes down
As we roamed around
Looking down at our feet
We trusted our Nuns
Accepted them as our mums
But to get close could never be

Unfortunately, our stories they didn’t believe
Unfortunately, they believed the deceived

We suffered enormous at their feet
There was no chance to receive
Malnutrition, Bronchial pneumonia and epilepsy
I settled in for some time
As we couldn’t recover from it

Mischievous so we were
But little we knew, little we cared
To express ourselves was impossible
As we were forbidden to speak out
Without a sound not a whisper was heard

Brothers and sisters we had, yet they too
Were retreated from us to know
Knowing they’re there
I couldn’t bear, wasn’t allowed to share
Again we went without

Cleaning scrubbing floors as we know
And helping little girls to their feet
Tiny tots to sit on pots
White older girls blew their nose
I remember one day running away
Looking for my other half
Was it a game that she had played?
Or my imagination slipping away?
I felt suddenly alone, this feeling
I’ve never felt!
Something inside of me snapped and broke
Something missing – deep within!
Sound of silence came within
Suddenly I was without

No grievance, no sadness for my
Great loss or pain
T’was never mentioned again

As I lay sleeping and dreaming
Nightmares overwhelmed me
Devils and wars within
Battling, fighting which tormented me
Spiritual wars within
Good, bad, evil
Fighting between heaven and hell
Tossing and turning, no sleep I’d get
Tired and sleepy – had no rest

 

Written by a former resident of St. Vincent’s Home Nudgee
15th September 1999