A child of sin.

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    I was adopted into a family who had bio children both before and after I was adopted. I wasn't adopted by people with infertility issues, but by people who were doing their "Christian" duty. They then set about making sure I knew of my sinfulness, because I was a 'child of sin' where their children were 'children of love'. Their belief in taking the bible literally makes me, in adulthood, wonder why they spent all the time trying to make me into a good Christian. After all, Deuteronomy 23:2 says "A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord."

    I was about 13 when it struck me how all this attention seemed to be because I was born a bastard and how unfair it was that a 'loving god' could punish me for something I had no role in. And then for that 'loving god' to also punish my children, grandchildren and so on, didn't show me a loving god. I didn't adopt their religion.

    Try as I would, I could never fit into that family. All my life I have tried to find a way for me to find the place in the world where I feel I fit.

    Last year I found my father (in a grave) and met 2 of my sisters, but I'm over 60 now and we live in different states. Is it too late to find out where I fit?

     

    My adoption has positive and negative elements. A stable home was a positive thing, my difference from the rest of the family, and their highlighting this was a most negative experience, and impacted on the rest of my life.