Adoption without anguish

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I was born in St Margarets Hospital Darlinghurst in 1961. My mother was 28 years old. Although the relationship between my adopted parents left a lot to be desired - my adopted siblings were very close and supportive and we have continued to be ever since. Even though my parents had a difficult marriage - they were still loving and to this day I love them dearly. We were aware from an early age that we were adopted - and it just made us more special - because they chose us. I never felt stigmatised by being adopted. It was just a fact of life.
Since then, out of curiosity, and at the encouragement of my aunts on my Dad's side, I have found that I have siblings and that has been such a joy to enlarge our family. They are wonderful people and I am looking forward to our relationships growing as the years pass. My adoptive siblings are really happy about this but have chosen not to search themselves. My natural mother is still alive - but has no desire for her secret to be found out.
I find that I have no need for contact with her- as I had a mother and father - who made me laugh and cry - just like other families. They were the ones who looked after me and taught me right from wrong. Perhaps the fact that my mother was so much older and it was not a forced adoption colours my thinking. But I have felt this way all my life and I didn't know her age until Mum gave me the legal documents in 1981.
Perhaps I was lucky in the family that I got - we didn't have a lot - but we never wanted for anything important.
I think the most important thing was that we felt loved and wanted - so being adopted was just a word. Not an identity.
So, as far as I am concerned - my journey has ended. I feel blessed to have found siblings that I didn't know about but also to have my adopted siblings in my life. My Dad has passed away but my Mum is still going strong.
I feel grateful for the confidence that they both instilled in me and perhaps that has helped me to have such a positive outlook on adoption.

 

I have never felt stigmatised by being adopted - It was always just a fact of life. Just like the colour of my hair or eyes.